I’ve been leading people inside organizations for nearly 25 years, and I’ve learned that leadership trust is crucial. What that really means is—I’ve had more than my fair share of chances to mess things up. And I have. My journey as a leader has been a blend of highs and lows, wins and regrets. I’m guessing some of you can relate.

As I contemplate the importance of trust in leadership, I want to open up about a mistake I made early in my leadership journey. Authenticity matters in leadership, and that means owning your missteps as much as your successes. So here’s one of mine.

The Cinnamon Roll Incident

Yes, the cinnamon rolls in the picture are important—because I love them. That’s how this story begins. When I was a newly promoted Store Manager in my mid-twenties at Walgreens, one of my team members—let’s call her Sue—made the most amazing cinnamon rolls and would bring them in for the team on Saturday mornings. She was also one of my best employees. And maybe, without realizing it, I expected more from her than I did from others.

Then came the moment I’ll never forget.

One afternoon, Sue’s husband called in to say she was sick and wouldn’t be coming in. That should have been a non-issue. But with a big ego and very little leadership experience, I let it get under my skin. I couldn’t believe Sue didn’t call me herself. I stewed on it. Let it fester. Blew it out of proportion.

When she came back to work a few days later, I pulled her into the office. I don’t remember everything I said, but I’ll never forget this one line: “Your husband doesn’t work for me. You do.”

Even typing that now makes my stomach drop. It was cold. Autocratic. Completely devoid of empathy or teamwork. I betrayed the trust of someone who had believed in me.

Later that day, Sue went to lunch and never came back. I called and texted. Nothing. The next morning, she walked in, handed me her uniform and name badge:

“Is there anything I can do to keep you,” I asked?

“Absolutely not.,” Sue replied. “I have zero respect for you.”

That one hurt. But I knew I deserved it.

The Real Cost of Losing Trust

I didn’t just lose a team member that day. I lost someone who brought joy to our Saturdays, who showed up for the team, and who genuinely cared. All because I let my pride speak louder than my empathy.

Looking back, Sue was really saying something deeper: I no longer trust you. And at that point, she was right. I hadn’t earned her trust—or held onto it when it mattered.

What I’ve Learned

Here are a few key lessons I carry with me, and I hope they resonate with you too:

1. Trust is hard to build, easy to lose.
   One emotional outburst can undo years of good leadership. Use the 5-Second Rule: pause for five seconds before reacting. It can make all the difference.
2. Never assume.
   I didn’t ask how sick Sue was. I didn’t know her family dynamic. I assumed her situation mirrored mine. Two big mistakes.
3. Don’t let things fester.
   Small issues grow into big ones when left unspoken. Have the tough conversation sooner rather than later.
4. Grace is always the better choice.
   Think of all the times someone has shown you patience or understanding. Be that person for someone else. Lead with grace.

We didn’t just lose cinnamon rolls on Saturdays—we lost a valuable team member because of my poor leadership. I often wonder where Sue is today. I hope she’s found leaders who treat her better. And I hope she’s forgiven me, even if I’ll never know.

I’ve shared this story many times as a teachable moment. But I also wonder if she’s shared it too—only from the perspective of a team member failed by her leader.

Until next time, I’ll leave you with this quote by John Maxwell:

“If people do not have trust in you as a leader, they will not respect nor want to follow you.”

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